It’s very hard to forget the person whom you love the most in your life but sometimes there is no other option. It was the time of my second semester and I planned to be rude and shut toward everyone doesn’t matter who the hell is another person. In that mess, I meet someone she was teacher. I was rude with her too. She wants me to buy the book, but that’s not my type of shopping so she sends me out of class every single day. Slowly I stop coming in her class in the first place. Those days I was drinking a lot, so sometime my guilt and drinking were clouding my decisions. Then I try to kill myself in a brutal bike crash, but that’s also didn’t work and it screwed me with serious injuries. Maybe god was still not done with me at that time. Then the first time she allows me to sit inside. After that sometimes I even drink in her class. Because the person I was trying to forget was in part of the same class so forcing her every day and also trying to forget she was miserable. One day, that teacher calls me in her cabin. I think that was the first time I noticed how cute she was.

“Who is that girl?” She asked

“Excuse me, what do you mean man?” I replied

“That girl who makes you like this?” She said

“Who tells you about her tell me that mom?” I asked

“Your eyes tell me.” She replied

That was very strange because there was no one who can understand what I was going through that time. But somehow she guessed it everything. Then I share the whole story with her. After that day I started attending her classes, but that also too late because I already screwed with my attendance. But we start talking a lot. But the thing was that she was married and even 8 years older than me. But that time it doesn’t matter to me. Because sometimes you just want to say “fuck off” to society and live however you want to live. No matter what other gonna say about it. I just start enjoying overnight conversations. Then finally, after giving some thoughts we went on the date. It was actually the dinner date, but we ended up spending the whole night on the road it was like a long drive. But I never saw a lady like her, she was open-minded, vibrant and hell of bold lady. I like her attitude about how she carried herself and make everything happy around her. After that we keep dating each other every week sometime twice a week and we know it was wrong. But it didn’t feel wrong anyway, so we keep doing it. After a few weeks, one night she was laying on my arm in her apartment and that day she confesses about one lie which she was feeding me and everyone at the university.

“You know I am not with my husband, he chats with me multiple times so, I just left him behind a long time ago. Soon we are going to be divorced officially I already sent him papers.,” She said

That time I can feel pain in her voice. It is hard when you trust someone with your life and even change your surname to live the rest of your life with him or her and then that person cheats you and breaks you so badly that you can never be yours again. Now I can understand how she sees the pain in my eyes. That was the day when I decided to help her in the healing process so she can move on from her painful past. No matter what others will think or say about us being together but I will be always with her. One by one my friend start scolding me for that, but I don’t care about what a bunch of amateur idiots was saying. Because when I need someone to understand and help me no one was there from other asshole friends only she was having my back. A few days later we both went at the golden temple at night we were on my bike and she was leaning on my shoulder when she told me about her son we spent the whole night in the golden temple talking about her son and she was finally happy that day. Her smile was extraordinary and beautiful. The days keep going like this dating and sharing secrets. Sometimes she stays in my apartment with me and sometimes I went to her place we were sleeping together but fucking each other for respect sake. She trusted me lot, so I didn’t want her hurt by breaking her trust for my sexual desires I was feeling for her. I start feeling good being with her.

 Finally the day comes when I went to see her inside the university campus apartment of her, but the thing was the visitation of students to that particular apartment was restricted and the punishment was expelled from university but who gives a fuck about punishment when your sexual desires are at peak. She cooks food for me and I love eating with her it was so romantic. After that, she invited me to stay overnight. I agreed because it was not the first time we are going to spend the night together. It was the night when she revealed the other secret and how her asshole husband uses to beat her and rape her in her own house. While sharing that terrible secret she was having the tears in her eyes so I hugged her to pamper her. Then I start singing a song for her. She told me that she doesn’t want this to end ever. She sleeps while listening to me. But I was up the whole night thinking about her asshole husband. I never able to understand which kind of monster can able to hurt such a  sweet lady like her. After that we had a few trips to the nearby hill station walking, overnight by holding her hand is so special that I never wish to leave that hand again. Slowly my friends stop talking to me and even starting making fun of me behind my back but who the hell cares. I was happy. It was Monday she wakes up and comes too close to me.

“Hey, what are you doing,” I asked

“You don’t allow to touch me anyways, but let me check how much you can control your desires.” She replied,

“Are you crazy.” I said,

“Shut up.” She replied

She starts kissing my cheeks and it was like the electrons hit my body so hard that I just want to kiss her back but I control my desires. She keeps on moving up and down, kissing my face. She was hot and seducing and resisting her charm were impossible. Her heartbeat was audible to me so loud and fast everything else was silent and blurred and there I lost my control over my desires. We kissed each other and the time stops for us. We lost in each other and keep sucking each other lips like really slow. After that, she pushes me back.

“You lose your fucking control over desires,” she said while going out of bed

I started feeling guilty because of losing control and my face can clearly reflect my guilt.

“Actually, I am glad you lose control otherwise how can I ever able to understand how good kisser you are,” she said after watching me with a guilty face

I spend the rest of my day thinking about what happened in the morning and fantasizing about now what is next going to happen between us and that thing were making me blush. But I think give few days break to go slow with the situation. But she texted me in the afternoon

 “Hey! Let celebrate your first kiss so bring the booze and I will cook the fish we will have a party tonight at my place.” She texted  

“Okay, that’s a fantastic idea?” I replied

In the night I reached in her apartment with booze. There I very dim and romantic lighting in the apartment and she was wearing a black sexy dress for me. Now we were drunk like hell and couldn’t capable of stop kissing each other. We were kissing and rolling on the bed, we suddenly fall down on the floor, but didn’t stop kissing each other even for a second. I can able to feel the heat of the moment and then are keep getting hotter. We went to the kitchen where I took the dark chocolate from the refrigerator and I put the bar of chocolate on her neck and start sucking the chocolate. Chocolate was all over her neck I keep licking it and that makes her on. Now she was too participating in licking chocolate from me and it was very intimidating. We ripped each other clothes very brutally and we started fucking on the kitchen floor. She was moaning in pleasure on the floor. That was the first time we became part of each other, two souls but single body.

After that night we spend lots of nights together and eat together, it was like a family. I never felt anything like this before. Having a family with someone, but it has been just a fantasy and somehow I know that. We both were just on borrowed time. One of my best friend of that time she somehow able to guess what is going between us and her suggested me that you satisfied your desire now this will going to toxic to its time to finish everything here. I was so strange how someone can think we were only together for fucking each other. I never planned to abandon her ever. I even abandon that friend who was suggesting to abandon her. But either its happy or sad time always keeps changing. And after sharing so good bond and having an extraordinary relationship. She started to think that she is ruining my life because of the age gap and she is divorced women with a boy. Even those things never matter to me, but lately she started focusing on the odds only which started the series of negativity in the perfect relationship.

After a couple of weeks she decided that it’s better if we stay away from each other because she is old women who are having no future-forward and I am the young teenager with a hope of better future without it. So our way separated but she will always remain in my heart. I always think that everything starts from helping her to move on and stay happy and I wanted to help her genuinely but maybe I am too toxic that I myself ended up giving her more pain. I have a huge contribution in making her life miserable and more painful.


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